Letter to a 4th grader

Dear Little Lani,








Take a deep breath, and just relax. Things won't always be the way they are now...

You won't always hate your curly hair, and you won't always hate those hips that don't let you fit into the same size jeans as other girls. Boys won't always think of you as just a friend, and you won't always have to - or want to - wear Dad's XL t-shirts to school everyday. Someday, you will get taller and a little thinner, you'll learn to do your hair and put on makeup, and you'll teach yourself how to hold eye contact with the person you're talking to. Some boys will even start to think you're pretty.

Life is not as unfair as you think, you just have to be a little more patient than the girls around you. And when mum says that the popular girls will not always be the popular girls, you should believe her instead of rolling your eyes. And when dad says that lots of those cute boys (the ones you ache to kiss, but never will) will turn out to be losers, you should believe him too.

Blond girls don't get everything in life. Neither do the skinny ones. You'll find a man who loves that you're neither. And you won't always be taller than all the girls ...and boys. In fact, there will be some days when you'll even feel small.

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you lie awake at night thinking about the boys you like, and how they'll never like you back? That feeling will go away someday. You don't have to lay in bed and beg God to make your crush like you, or to make you lose all your extra weight by the morning. He won't, and you'll wake up still being heavy. But it will be okay.

Because someday, a few years down the road, an amazing man will move into the house behind you. He will be smart, and strong, athletic, funny, and handsome. He will turn your world upside down - pushing your buttons, driving you crazy, making you laugh, helping you grow. He will do things for you that no boys ever did, or wanted to do, before. He will take care of you, and love you, like you never thought anyone would. You won't be able to imagine ever loving anyone else, because he'll be more than you ever dreamed of. And someday, he'll get down on his knee, and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him.

And when he's down on his knee, you'll think back to the little Lani, and all of the hours she spent praying, hiding, wishing, blaming, crying. And all of it will make sense. After the best two years of your life, when you're heart still jumps when you hear him come in the front door, you'll understand. Everything falls into place, and you are happy.