My Tree is Bigger than Yours

Went over my guest list today...WHEN did I get so many family members? I think I have...actually I'll count right now...oh my god, 82 family members. 82!!! And I don't even know all of their last names - don't tell JR that, he'll make me cross them off.

So that leaves room on my half of the guest list for about 4 friends, at the most. Good thing I don't have many more than that to begin with.

Then there's JR, who has about 75,000 friends. Or 75, but whats the difference. Can I just call his friends, my friends? Because that would make me feel much better about my life.

We both keep saying things like, "WE need to take a look at the list to see who WE can cross off." Translation: "There is no way I'm letting you invite, her, her, him, and who the heck even is that." It's sooo easy to come up with people you'd cross off the other person's list! So we should probably steer clear from having that conversation if we want to still love each other at the end of all of this.

Which we will. I'm just wondering whether its worth spreading a rumor within my family that I'm gay. That way, there never was a wedding and they were never not invited. Here's hoping no relatives read this, or my gift pile will take a serious hit.

What is happening to me.