Dressing Rooms

It's a place I love. It's a place I love to hate. It's a place where I can separate myself from the rest of the world with the simple lock of a door.

It's funny, because there is such a mix of emotions when I head down the row to find an open dressing room. It's like, eating cake. I'm excited to eat it but I'll probably feel bad about myself when its over. I pick out clothes I'm excited about and can't wait to try on. As soon as I lock that door, I feel a little pang that says "Uh oh...what if nothing fits? What if NONE of this works?" And when it does work? Well those are the days I convince myself I've been especially blessed by God.

And when nothing does fit, I hate myself and my day is ruined. I also wonder if the dressing room employees are really laughing at me on the inside the way I assume they are. Especially when I've brought 8 different items in with me. "Really girl, you can't find ONE thing that fits?" So sometimes I'll take one or two items back into the store with me and hang them back on the racks myself, just so no one assumes I'm too fat to fit into anything their store has to offer me.

The rooms with the 3-sided mirrors are the best, and the worst. For one thing, I literally spend double the amount of time in there as I should. I look at my body in the clothes from every possible angle. Then I look at my body without the clothes on from every possible angle. Then I look at my profile, from every possible angle as well. It's like a trap! I can't stop, I can't look away, even when I really, reeeally want to.

And I don't know what it is about dressing rooms that suddenly makes me think I am Beyonce and Brittney Spears all rolled into one, but as soon as I lock that broken lock I realize I'm in my safe place where I can break out the moves I'd never dare to show the real world. God forbid anyone see my feet under the door.

Want to know how you can feel the heaviest you've ever felt? Lose your balance in a dressing room and see what it sounds like when you bump against the wall.
And if you're lucky, you walk into a room with flourescent lights so that you make all kinds of new discoveries when it comes to your body and face. How the hell long has this bulge been there? I didn't even know it was possible to get cellulite here! And when did I get sideburns?

So next time you're in a dressing room and you hear a large crash against your wall and can see dancing feet underneath, don't be a stranger.