Love Chub

I read an article the other day in Women's Health. It explained how to avoid "love chub": gaining weight while you're in a relationship. First of all, I hate the word chub. And I've hated it since I heard my ex-boyfriend say "chub rub" once, to describe when a girls thighs rub together when she walks. Which to me was always embarrassing yet normal, but finding out there was a name for it made it so much worse.

While I am still trying my "eat whatcha want" routine, I'm still obviously hoping not to gain weight. And since I just signed a lease to move into an apartment this September with a BOY, I have to now, more than ever, be ready to enter a whole new food environment. Like I ever figured it out on my own.

One of the things that contributes to Love Chub is having his snacks become your snacks. True that. Being around a guy, specifically this guy, has presented a way of eating and drinking that is totally unfamiliar to me. Like, who just drinks gatorade because theyre thirsty, or non-diet snapple because they like the flavor? And who buys cream puffs out of the freezer section to eat as a snack later, when there's no special occasion? Or orders a ceasar salad as an appetizer, every meal? But guess who else orders a ceasar salad now before every meal? And guess who else has learned to take a more than a few sips of non-diet snapple, and who suddenly realized that CREAMPUFFS might be the thing thats been missing from her life all these years? Oh we're running late? YES grabbing huge breakfast sandwiches is a GREAT idea. And gummy bears before bed IS a good idea for a late night snack.

There is also a direct descending correlation between the frequency of my workouts before and after I started to date him. I'm seeing him later, I should go to the gym first, but then I'd have to wash and dry my hair again. So I'll go with sit on the couch and do my nails instead. Oh, you're gonna do laundry all day today? Instead of working out I think it would be a better idea for me to sit on your bed and toggle between watching you and your tv.

Here's a good quote: "A study last year in the journal Obesity found that couples who live together for two or more years are less likely to be physically active, and the women are more likely to become obese." Hello! That can NOT happen. But how am I supposed to get motivated to work out when I am literally obsessed with him and my time with him?? And what is it going to take for me to refuse Creme Brulee after a huge meal that has left me busting full? And what if his favorite foods that I cook him are all fattening? Do I cook us separate meals? Do I force healthier choices on the poor guy? Can I secretly cancel his gym membership and sign him up for my gym so we can go together? While I'm not at that level of crazy, I am already panicking about how this will all pan out. Maybe I'll just be embarrassed to eat my usual "secret" snacks in front of him and I'll just drop 20 lbs, just like that.

What's weird is, even though I eat more calories per meal when I'm with him than any other time, I go home after the weekend to find I haven't gained any weight. And that is because this GENIUS of a guy has figured out how to eat when you're hungry and not eat when you're not hungry. Thats why we have huge 1:00pm breakfasts and no lunches. That's why we get ice cream on the way home from the movies, because he's "in the mood." Or a huge sugary home-made lemonade on the way home from the beach because it's the best we've ever had.

But then I get carried away, and say, WANNA GET SOME POPCORN FOR THE MOVIE? And he says, no, because he's still full. And that is when I feel as fatter as I ever have before. Really, creampuff pete? Cheesecake after chicken parm but no room for popcorn? ...Can it really be that simple? This whole me-not-dieting-thing has really thrown me and I feel lost, and I really, really need to find my way. and hopefully my way is very away from the land of Love Chub. Because that's embarrassing.