Tagged

I love facebook. Love love love it! Except when I check JR's page and find that a really pretty girl has written on his wall. Then I hate hate hate it. But besides that, the pictures are obviously the draw.

As a single girl, meeting a new guy and then finding him on facebook and having access to his pictures was like, my god, the greatest thing to EVER happen to me! And I wouldn't just look at ALL of his pictures. I would look at ALL of his pictures, over, and over, and over. Wanna know how many times JR looked at all of my pictures? Zero. He said he made it through the first few and that was "enough". Are most boys this indifferent? Like hi, how are you not dying to see every single pic available of me? To this day he still doesn't know what pics I have tagged of myself.

But I do. I have them memorized, and I look at almost all of them on almost a daily basis. Is this normal? Probably not considering some poeple closest to me are tagged in over 1,000 pics. How can you possibly control what people see when there are that many? I have slowly untagged some over the years, deleting more and more each time I accept a friend request from someone I used to date/like. I think I've weeded out all the terrible ones. And when an untag isn't enough, I hound and harrass that person to DELETE the picture from the universe entirely. Because, hello, just because I detag doesn't mean other people can't see it! The ones who listen to me are my favorite friends. The rest of you are mean.

And for that, people think I'm ridiculous and too critical and fussy and vain. But here is my question. Don't I have the right to allow or not allow pictures of ME to be shown to the entire world? If I don't want everyone seeing a picture you took of my unphotogenic face that came out with me looking like the fat witch from Hocus Pocus, isn't it valid for me to ask you to please take it down?

Like, at my wedding some day, it will be my day, right? My day to pretend I am perfect and wicked pretty and love everything about myself and my life. Like, what if all my guests take a bunch of pics of me where my nose looks bigger than normal and my eye is half closed or you see extra back fat hanging over my dress or I have a major double chin because you were too low when you took the picture? I say, you shouldn't be allowed to post it. Not just of me, but of any bride, or any girl, or anyone, if they don't want you to, right? It's just not nice. When people ask me to delete a photo I've posted of them, I do it, because I know some day I'll probably ask them to return the favor, so I have to stay on their good side.

But back to stalking. The only thing better than looking at your crush's pics are finding pics of his ex. Except it's not actually better, its awful. Because really, chances are they're not going to be fatter than you, and they're not going to be as ugly as you hoped they'd be, and I'm going to x out of the page feeling terrible about myself, insecure about the relationship, and mad at the guy. Because I found pics of his ex and she was pretty. Rational.

Or have you found yourself looking at pics of girls, and you have no idea who they are? How much do you hate yourself when you're looking at some random girl in a bikini on the beach and you're in the middle of comparing her better body to your mushier one and someone walks by and asks who that is and you look up and say "...hm?" When the rumor circulated about being able to see who looks at your profile, my heart stopped for 5 seconds which may actually constitute as being dead. Like I actually might have died for 5 seconds, because my life would have been over since there is NO possible way I could recover after certain people found out how just how many times I looked at their profile.

So here's to that rumor never coming true, memorizing our tagged-pics line-up, and never posting pics of each other in the white dress. Cheers!