Halloween

Halloween is right around the corner, and I can never decide if that makes me happy or terribly, terribly sad.

When I was in college, I dressed up one year for Halloween. One year. And my costume was a boy magnet. I wore all black and attached ken dolls to my shirt. I thought it was pretty funny, but at that point was unfamiliar with just what I would be up against. I'd love to use this as an opportunity to post a picture on my blog, but I just searched and remembered that between my freshmen and junior years of college I took a total of 15 pictures. So now I feel sad again and am gonna go take a break on the couch, bbl.

Okay I'm back 4 days later. Hi. I have always had somewhat of an aversion to girls making their costumes slutty. From slutty ladybugs to lingerie models, we get it: you're going for sexy. But even though I always thought it was so lame, there is undoubtedly a part of me that was jealous. If I had a better body, would I have dressed sluttier? Hard to tell, but I'm sure I would've at least considered it.

But now that we're older, its become a little old and I think most girls get that. Which leaves a new group in charge: the funny girls. The only girls I'm more jealous of than the sexy ones are the ones that throw on the world's most ridiculous, unique costumes and get a laugh from everyone (including the guys) ....do I sound like a child? Whatevy, I'm being honest.

Which brings me to this year. I am dating someone who made it clear from day 1 how much he loves girls that are funny and careless and how lame he thinks slutty costumes are. Great, the pressure is off and I can pick any funny thing I want without having to crash diet for the last two weeks before Halloween! And the only thing better than having a great costume is being able to do a couples costume! says me. This is my first year so I've been pretty pumped. We had some talks about it and then it hit him, this brilliant idea: Gilligan and the Skipper.

.... I'll let that sit with you for a second.

So not only would I be Gilligan with big boy clothes, a short black wig, but I am not the boss in this relationship. And if it's up to him, I'm wearing no makeup. I tried it on, and yes, its hilarious. But also yes, I am hideous.

And I just don't think I can deal with that. Especially if I will be around girls dressed sexy, because then I'll just want to die. What happens if he takes a break from his "hilarious" girlfriend and glances for a second at a slutty looking skankaroo.

DEATH. That's what. For him and my costume.

So, what is the point of all of this? The point is that I've spent years hating on slutty girls, but realized I don't have what it takes to go in the complete opposite direction. I need to settle for somewhat funny, somewhat unique, and not totally ugly. I have one more day to pull off a costume that I'm surprising him with 1 day before Halloween and hoping he'll go for to save myself from this shipwreck. Get it?