A long post about a long night

Last year, I reached a point of desperation in my attempt to lose weight. Instead of sticking with weight watchers, I thought I'd give Overeaters Anonymous a try. Mum told me she thought it was a great idea, and heard it wasn't only for people who are obese. So I thought, maybe this is just what I need!

It was not what I needed. I walked in to the church, and wandered around its dark, scary hallways until I ran into a lady. Let me be more specific: a humpback lady. Like legit humpback: bent-over, hump-on-back, drag-a-leg humpback. She asked if she could help me, and I cringed as I heard myself say outloud for the first time "I'm here for overeaters anonymous." "Follow me!" she said. Perfect.

So I followed her to a large, wide-open room where we met Tony: a seemingly semi-mentally challenged Italian man with pants that didn't quite make it past the ankles. HB, Tony, and I began gathering chairs and setting up a circle. At this point, I've already decided I hate my mother, and can't decide if I want to laugh or cry.

So about 12 more people pour in, and we're ready to start. But before I continue, I feel the need to describe the group. Now, I'm hoping anyone reading this knows that I'm a caring, kind, non-judgemental (for the most part) individual. But dear God in Heaven this group had no one even close to normal in it. Not weight-wise, life-wise. So, as if I hadn't been down on myself enough to the point where I came to OA, I'm now sitting among some of God's finest mistakes. What a terrible thing for me to write.

The "leader" starts off with a prayer. Everyone's eyes are closed. God is being talked about, and strength, and will, and I realize this is a horrible, horrible mistake. So others start to share things about how their weeks have been going, how long they've been "abstaining", and who they're(not) dating. I can't help noticing this chubby little woman in her 20's. With tourette's. So that of course added some much needed flavor to the group dynamic. And then there was a 40 year old woman, not very big but probably the heaviest of the bunch, who out of nowhere blurted out, "I JUST NEED TO HAVE SEX. I MEAN ITS JUST BEEN FOREVER AND I NEED TO HAVE SEX, YA KNOW?" No one knew. No one laughed, and no one looked at her for the rest of the night.

So after closing prayer, I booted it out of there faster than Tony averted his eyes from my chest each time I caught him. Three times, like, c'mon Tony. As I walked away I felt MUCH better about myself, my life, my friends, my dating life, and just about anything else I could think of, all thanks to my new (yet, already old) OA friends. I spent the rest of the night crying and laughing at the same time over the phone with my mum. Weight watchers for life.