The Old Stink Eye

There are many things I wish I was better at: Breakdancing, funnelling maybe, and remembering the words to songs. But what I really need to master is how to give a good, nasty mean look when I want to send a message to strangers that I don't like them.

Like when guys (...or girls) sit down on the T and don't give their seat up for the elderly or pregnant women. Or when I say "excuse me" to someone standing or sitting on theT and they don't budge so I have to squeeeeze by. The proper and most obvious reaction would be to say, again, "EXCUSE ME, can I please get by you?", when in fact it wouldn't be to give a single-syllabul laugh to yourself outloud and then keep your head down as you pass by.


Or when someone is talking loud in the library. Or eating something too loud. Or chewing gum with their mouth open. Again, easy fix. "Hey, do you mind keeping it down?" I am always so jealous when I hear people speak up and say something like that, how empowering!! Instead, I glare at them. ...and then as soon as they see me I turn my head away quicker than they can even decide whether or not I was actually looking at them.

Or someone kicking the back of my chair at the movies. The best response would be for me to turn around and either a) glare at them, or b) say something along the lines of, "can you stop kicking the chair? thanks." Although that might result in things being thrown in my hair, a childhood fear of mine I'm sure you're all aware of. However, one of the weaker responses, and the response I seem to be the most fond of, is a quick half-turn of my head in the direction of where that person is sitting but not enough to actually be able to look directly at them, a pause, and then I rotate my head back in the direction of the movie screen. Not effective.

It seems lately I am becoming more and more bitter, angrier and angrier over small things that random people do. I know I'm getting closer to the point where I might actually say something. I just need to have a few sayings that are ready to roll off my tongue, as I know I won't be good under pressure. I'm also sure that when I finally do decide to speak up, I will speak up to the wrong person and get either my face or my pride handed to me in front of a very large audience.

Suggestions/Recommendations are welcome.