Someday...

I've come along way. As someone who once was too embarrassed to make consistent eye contact with people she talked to, I've conquered many fears and gotten rid of a lot of quirks. But there are still hurtles that I wish to someday soar above. Here are just a few.


Like, someday, I will order an ice cream cone by myself, and eat it, by myself.

Someday I will not feel the need to make a statement out loud about the fact that I've eaten my entire meal, or that I'm about to go in for seconds...

Somday, I will respond to all compliments with a simple thank you, and nothing else.

One of these days, I'm going to learn how to pose for a picture by myself.

Someday, when a waitress says, "good job!" or "I'm proud of you!" after seeing how much of my meal I finished, I 'll slam my fork in her hand and yell in a man voice I'M NOT DONE YET

If a bus takes off, someday I'll chase it down.

Someday while I'm singing happy birthday to coworkers, I will not whisper when we reach the high "BIRTH" note in the 3rd verse.

Someday I will tell a bitch to shut up.

And someday, I'll tell an asshole to eat shit.

Someday, soon, I will not beg for the lights to be turned off.

I hope someday I'll fearlessly walk over to use the weights at the gym no matter how many guys are over there using them.

When someone asks, "do you mind?", someday I will.

One day, I'll limit myself to one bertucci's roll. Maybe one and a half.

Someday I will swim in a pool by myself without fearing that a shark will appear.

And someday, I'll write a blog that doesn't talk about food or weight.

NAHT.