Food: Part 1

There are lots of different kinds of foods that cause different people anxiety for different reasons. Over the course of a few days, I'd like to go over a few of them.

1. Food that everyone looks bad eating.

Like, popcorn. Every time I go to the movies, popcorn is always part of the equation even though I'm not necessarily hungry. That said, I don't know how to eat it without looking like I'm starving. You never just pop one piece in at a time. Instead, you're entire palm is flat against your mouth as you shovel in as much as physically possible. And not only is it the world's single loudest food ever, but we're forced to eat it during the most quiet moments of life. It's not just loud to eat though, it's also loud to take. I try extra hard not to hit the sides of the bag when I reach in, going in like my hand is a professional diver in slow motion. But once I'm in, thats when the decision-making really gets tough. Do I go for just a few kernels but have to reach in more often? Or do I go in for a good 4-second scoop and wiggle that lands me a huge handful so I won't have to reach in for at least another 15 seconds? And there is no other situation where it is okay for me to bang hands with my DATE because both of us are trying to beat each other into the bag. Like, where is my shame? Just because its dark doesn't mean the calories don't count. And how is it acceptable for me to be still chewing one handful as I reach in for another? Here's a better question: Should I be concerned about my image when I'm shoveling in another handful while I literally have pieces of popcorn sitting in my hair/cleavage/between my legs?



Because I'm not.