Soccer Momism

This is unlike my usual topics but, I'm feeling worried.

I cringe at the thought of someday being labeled a soccer mom. First, I hate soccer. But secondly, it's so negative. Just hearing "soccer mom" brings up thoughts of an annoying, nonattractive woman driving a big ugly van with no life of her own. Young men use the term to describe women they find obnoxious and young women use it to describe the type of person we don't want to become.

But isn't that where we're all headed? Besides not allowing your kids to play soccer, how do you avoid becoming a soccer mom?

We're gonna get married and have kids, and kids do things: gymnastics, dance, softball, soccer, piano, wrestling, football, band, etc. And we're going to want to support those things. Who else is going to cheer? Or better yet, who is going to drive them? And how do we fit them and all their shtuff and their friends in anything smaller than an SUV or van? I, for one, am trying to promise myself to never drive a van. I think all sexuality slips right out the window the second you buckle up. But really, at some point, we're going to need bigger cars. And how do I get in an accident without being brushed aside as a stupid soccer mom who can't drive?

Not only that, but how you do keep your identity as a woman rather than a mother? I'd love to know before I get there, because I'm starting to feel it may be inevitable.

Now, of course, I'm telling myself that if you're a THIN mom, you won't be as annoying to the world. But to a certain degree, I think men think the same way. Heavier, short-haired soccer moms are found to be so much more annoying. ...Well at least I think that would be the finding, if people were polled. Or maybe this is just me expressing my fears and not giving men enough credit. Either way, I'm going to play it safe and always keep my hair long.

I guess my point is, lay off the soccer moms. They're good people.